Frost Bite

Everything about this night and morning has been nostalgic for me..
The smell of the cold is layered with all the memories of you..
It was so tangible I could even feel your breath on the top of my head and the way you move next to me while you sleep...

We got to the welcome home party for an old friend, and upon walking inside the house it was like high school all over again.. 100proof apple pie, a beer or two later, and we were winning at some beer pong.. But that moment is over and we were back home.
After getting settled in, Helios found its way to my speakers and all I could think of and feel was the night you were lying on your living room/kitchen floor painting and I was sitting there next to you watching your hands. Always so delicate... I found it beautiful to watch you work every time..
And then my friend throws on Skyrim and I could have lost my composure so easily, but I closed my eyes and relived the memories as quietly as I could..
You'd be sitting on the floor or lying on the couch with me, and you'd kill rabbits just because you knew it made me sad. But I'd get frustrated eventually because I wanted the attention you were giving your game. I should have realized back then that just by having me in the room was enough for you. If I could just sit next to you now..
If I could wake up to you one more time...

I want to play in the snow with you.. I want to travel with you.. I want us to find a place where we can always be barefoot and play outdoors in every type of weather; sunshine, rain, clouds, everything..

I miss the way you make baby dinosaur sounds when you stretch. I miss the way you mumble in your sleep, and always have your mouth slightly open making a goofy face... I remember trying to count your eyelashes whenever you were asleep next to me..

I miss the way you'd show me little things about yourself without even realizing..
You're a dedicated person when you set your mind to something..
You are hardworking, and caring, and I feel like you were usually afraid to show that you were vulnerable too.

I feel as though I've wasted so much time worrying and ruining a good moment because I was afraid that you were unhappy with me..
I wish you could see and feel the depth of my sorrow for all our wasted time...
I have never missed anyone thing the way I miss you...

I just want you to come home...