Random thoughts of Today.

--The Earth shouted out warnings beneath the new weight, trying to capture a breath between crater and corpse.
The skies cry with ash of a new skyline.
Beautifully covered faces sing out to a hiding man above.
The night falls but the horizon shines yellow and orange.
I scream out of the ash; "Am I the disaster!?"

--The day begins with spirals of blue and gray.
Rain threatening to clean everything and flood our world.
We drown, yet some of us swim.
The night begins and the evils come out to play.
They jump in puddles, and the ground swells and shouts against the extra weight.
The day begins with colours of life, orange and blue, brightening the shadows.
Sunlight dries the evil's footsteps and they remain only as imprints in our mind.
The night begins and the moonlight illuminates our dreams.
Puddles are gone, and the evil cannot find a place to stand.
The day begins and the birds sing a song of relief.

What a morning...

I slept for 16 hours last night.
wtf....


But I wake up today, and everything feels strange.
My left hand is numb.
My chest hurts.
I'm confused.


:/

I'm waiting for the disaster.
But nothing is happening yet.
Maybe I created one?
Maybe I am the disaster...

Hello Night!

Like any average person.. on any average day.
I'm constantly thinking, observing, and perceiving everything around me.
Is it normal, though, to notice the colors hidden in the corners, the fake smiles we exchange when we pass acquaintances?
Is this normal?
We all have a choice with every opportunity or choice presented to us.
A, or B. Sometimes there are other variables.

What is better though? The truth? Or the easier answer?
"How are you?" someone could ask.
"Oh yeah know, I'm good." You could lie.
or you could simply tell the truth..
"I'm burning inside my own mind, and I can feel myself thinking darker, more morbid thoughts everyday."
No one expects to hear the sadder, more truthful news.
Everyone wants everyone to be all right.

hahaha

It wasn't the face I expected to see,
When I opened my eyes,
And you were there from my dreams.

With new love in my heart,
And a smile on my face..

I want to sail through the seas,
With just you and me.

Todayyy!

I am generally a nice person.
At least I'd like to think so anyways.
So if someone starts a polite and warm conversation with me, I'm going to be warm and polite back.

I'm hopelessly devoted to my friends as well.
But when.. out of the blue.. a stranger! at that, does something selfless for me..
I am in complete awe.
I've never had someone do something so selfless for me before.
I almost want to cry..
It's... wow!
I don't even know really how to explain it!

I want to do more for the world.
I seriously do.

Holy Shit Balls....

My dad had requested that I go and feed our addiction. So with money in my pocket, and my shoes and coat finally on, I headed out to my semi-frozen car. I wasn't too concerned with the fact that I was seeing shadows creep around the garage, or the fact that my window was half covered in frost. I just wanted to get the cigarettes, and get back home.
I pulled into the dimly lit gas station just nearly two blocks away from home. It was abandoned, as always at this time of night. I left the engine running, and stepped quickly into the store.
"3 packs of Marlboro Reds; shorts, and 1 pack of Marlboro Special Blend; regular, shorts, please," I hurriedly said.
The cashier jumped slightly to gather the goods, and placed them on the counter. As she was ringing them up, I glanced slightly out the front door.
She was small, but taller than myself. The ladies wrinkles were unlike any I had ever seen before. Her eyes were sunken in and in their place remained dark holes that could harvest and steal any wrong looking soul. She had stepped lightly, entering the dim light over the gas pumps, and raised her head, boring those black holes into my entire being.
I felt my heart skip a beat. It was as though I was being doused in cold water despite the already freezing temperatures outside. Looking back at the cashier, I spoke of my sudden horror. She looked up at me and spoke in confusion, "What?"
I said quietly back, "you'll see in a moment..".

The old lady had finally crept up on the front door, and took a moment to enter. Her skin, havoc wrecked from age, giggled ever so slightly; as though she was embarrassed by her wardrobe.
I payed for my smokes, and stepped towards the door, responding gently to the cashier's, "Have a good night!"
I jumped into my car without hesitation, and slammed into drive. Had I of had a rear-view mirror, I predicted I would have gazed upon a splatter of blood against the store's window as the lady would devour her prey.
Driving as fast as I could given the current state of weather, I drifted into my drive way, and slammed to a halting stop in my parking place. Grabbing my keys, I ran across the ice to the backdoor of the house. The door was locked.
"Fuck!" I yelled.
I fiddled with my keys, trying to find the right one. Rushing so fast.
"Come on! Come ON!"
..right key.. check..
..into the slot.. check..
"Fuck!"...wrong way..

I finally got the door open, but the key was stuck in the lock. Shaking and pulling on the key; shadows drifting around me caused my heart to sink in fear.
I got the key out, slammed the back door shut, and walked into the warmth and light of my kitchen.
"Oh my God!" I screamed out to the ears of my father and sister who were patiently awaiting my return.
They looked at my frenzied state with curiosity, and then I began to tell them, exactly what you have just read.

k thank.
:)

This is why...

I do what I do...

"I've met a lot of new people recently, but I haven't made any real friends out of them.
And then there's you
A better friend than most people I've known for years
It's refreshing."

I will be that person at 2:47 in the morning... on the phone with you.. If there is something wrong. No matter where we are or what's going on.
This is what I do.
This is what makes me who I am.

I am that person. The one that is never noticed, but is the one that listens the best.
I will always be here for you.
I'm alright with the fact that I lack in the areas of "personal time".
I'm alright with the fact that I give all that I am to others.
As long as you're alright.
As long as there is a smile in the end.
And so help me God, if I have to stay up with you all night and work a 12 hour day right after, I will do so with no regrets.

So get over the fact that you think you're wasting my time.
:)

If you smile, then all the time in the world is worth it.