My thoughts are fading to dark places. There are faces in the shadows and the walls are my cell. Your voice likes to filter through and torment whatever sanity I have left. Is there no peace in solitude?

Samskeyti

Sometimes I wish I would never wake back up... It'd be better than feeling this.

leave

It's nauseating. I can't have you here. Every time I see you my stomach drops and all I want is relief. I left the situation so I could escape you... But now I find you staring me down across the hallways no matter where I'm at. You're with all my friends, and all I want is a little bit of peace. A chance to just not have to see you and your pathetic smile. All I want is relief.. I want you gone. I don't want you here...

There will be days where you're so tired... Your mind is numb, and your body is weak. But there will always be a way.. A way back home.

No.

Don't worry. It's not the end of the world. I'm sure you'll be alright. You run all these guilt trips, and that's some shit that I refuse to go through again. Him: "Alright, so you're just going to give up on someone who cares so much about you and is willing to give you everything. You say you love me, yet you're just giving up, and running away from things without even trying." Me: "Yes, Yes I am." Fuck that shit man..

Oblivion

It's a spiraling feeling that consumes through you like fire; destroying everything it touches. There is never anything left when we add oxygen to an open flame. If we pursue the things that usually cause us the most anguish, which generally are the things that we like to do the most, it always ends horribly. Why can't there be ways to just deal with things in a healthy life style without needing to live straight edge, recklessly, or in a boring fashion? One day it won't matter who said what, who did what, or how someone chose to live their life. Everything is going to burn in the end.

Replaced.

It's been awhile and I'm quite aware of that. But that's alright.
Lately.. I haven't felt like me. Is that my usual? Yes. When do I ever feel like me? Rarely. I just broke up with the guy I was seeing, and I'm perfectly content being alone. but there are moments when all I want is for him to be here so I can hug someone, and have someone hug me back.
I feel alone.. But when have I ever not been?
Of course I'm attracted to other people.. But due to my history maybe I should just let it all go for awhile.

I'm so lost in so many different things.
I want this, and I hope for that. I'm stuck it seems. Almost paralytic in my life; unable to see clearly in any particular direction.

Oh this circle is so damn familiar.
I ruin the things I want the most, for I'm unable to let myself get close to anyone..
Fuuuu--
whyyy do I keep doing this to myself and to other people?
I truly am a horrible person..