Goot Inspiration....

The loneliness bears it's weight.
Suffocating and drowning me more and more as the time ticks by.
In the words of another,
"I love your existence."
I only wish...

..wish you felt the same.

To see your words,
Your photos,
It proves that you live..

..If only you lived in a world that would consider my soul.

Rainbow Scenery.

I sat on the edge of the placid waters, staring into their depths; looking for meaning.
Trying to understand the world is a hard concept. Perhaps one no one will truly grasp.
Looking above me, the clouds swirled around with a ferocity that would scare any normal soul.
But to be in my position..
To be an old soul..
Born over 3,000 times... I understand everything.
Why now however, does this appear to be a mystery to me...


Looking back across the land, I think to myself whether I will find him again.
Whether there will be another time in life where things will appear to make sense.

The sky continued to change it's shape.
Over and over, turning into something new to satisfy it's hunger for creativity...
I sighed, and closed my book. Stepping away from the waters with my head upon the grass, I looked up to meet the world, but with a sudden breath of sharp air, I looked into the eyes of his lost soul.

Mirror Mirror On The Wall...

In most of our lives, we search for people that are most commonly like ourselves, so we may have someone to relate to in the events that take place from day to day..

However, many people have trust issues..
..don't let many others into the depths of our mistakes..

..of our dreams,
of our hopes,
of our fear,
of our hatred,
into the depths of the things we love..

But when we find those people we hold on tight.
We fear losing them to someone better than ourselves..

There are some instances where we find the perfect person..
Yet by the end of the day we're consumed with hatred towards them..
..for they mirror us too perfectly.
It's as though we're looking upon a reflection of ourselves,
and we become unsatisfied with the way we feel we are presented..
We learn to resent them..
When truly, they are only us..

Why do we hate who we are,
and who we have become,
and who we have yet to be?

What Dreams May Come..

To sleep is to dream, and to dream is to hope.
Oh what the concept which many people take for granted.
We dream of what we miss,
of what we hate...
...and of what we've loved.

Such emotions,
Portrayed in such a way that not many of are remembered upon waking.
If only we could remember..
..to remember and to let go?

Perhaps letting go isn't the answer..

We search for things to love,
For things to put faith or hope upon..

Why not trust in what we have,
Rather than sticking with the constant search which leaves us broken at the end of every day?

An Empty Mind; The Tainted Soul.

Laying down upon the filthy carpet in her home, she closes her eyes and tries to shut out all the screaming taking place around her. Falling away from the dark, decay, and filth, she opens her eyes into a deep mahogany red. Her own world, her dreams, her only sanctuary from her desolate life in chains, has been the only thing that keeps her going.
Slowly getting up, she surveys her surroundings. Above her are the red leaves of autumn, gently, and slowly falling as they soon begin to die from the cold. But until the weather shifts into a hateful fury of ice, the red, orange, and yellow scenery will suffice.
As she walks through the trees, her senses take in everything. The smell of the dew on the plants, the feel of the moist soil under her feet, and the sound of the animals scurrying away from her presence. As she finally reaches the edge of the forest, she spots an old, withering tree in the distance. It was such a depressing sight. The branches were all cowering away from the sky as though they were afraid to reach for anything more than what they already had. The leaves, all of them, shivered from the cold. It was as though they were alive, but afraid to live.
She walked closer to the decaying sight, and reached for a few of the leaves. Kissing them gently, it was as though she breathed life into the roots, for the tree began to shimmer with a vibrant light as it began to grow at an alarming rate. However, as soon as she stepped away from the tree to get a better look, it was as though someone shut its lights off. The tree began to drop and die, just as fast as it began to grow. Perhaps this tree was cursed; never allowed to fulfill the potential it contained...

Stepping away from the depressing sight, she looked out across the land. The forest was behind her, the tree to the left, and a vast, dark ocean ahead. Looking across the forlorn waters, there seemed to be nothing alive. This was her world, her creation, why now, of all times, did it appear to be so ominous? Why was the only thing she had left beginning to fail her too?

An Empty Mind.

She lies down upon the floor, the weight of her actions crushing her soul. Falling gently into the carpets warm graces, she closes her eyes so she may drift off into her own world.
The yellow light from the sun sweeps out of the room, and blackness soon takes it's place... As she re-opens her eyes, green light floods every space around her. She slowly gets up and begins to walk towards an ocean in the distance. The sound of life, the smells of growth and decay, her senses leave nothing behind.
Time does not pass here. There is no essence of it. Everything simply, just is.
As she walks, with the wind gently swaying the white lace of her gown, she dances. Dancing under the green of the trees, the sun casting an elegant glow upon everything it touches.
As she approaches her destination, she sees a tree a bit further off. The tree was enormous. Perhaps the largest thing she had ever seen before. Its branches were spreading in every direction, attempting to soak up as much sun as possible. They all appeared to have set the same goal; reaching the sky. The leaves were all various shades of green and purple. It was unlike any tree she had ever seen before. Getting closer, she began to realize that the leaves seemed to live a separate life from the tree. They whispered lullabies and words of love to one another as they gently brushed by their neighbor.
Finally next to the tree, she leaned forward and kissed one of the leaves. The whole tree seemed to shiver with delight at her slightest touch. She smiled back at her new friend, and with one hand on their trunk, she looked out over the ocean. The tree was perched on the edge of a cliff, miles above the water. This height didn't seem to disturb anything that stood too close. It was as though nothing wrong could ever happen here, for if anything did, the life pouring out of every surface would surely fix the situation.
The crystal clarity of the depths spanned on for as far as she could see. Her violet eyes searched them for any sign of another soul like her own, but in such a vast, open world, her search could take quite awhile. However, time will never matter to her, at least not here. Never while she was here...

Random Writings .02

Life.
What is it?
Time.
Who controls it?

I'm trying to find a job, but it's rather difficult when no one seems to want to hire a 17 year old.
I've tried at home, and at my Mom's. No one wants me...


La La La..


I don't know how to write happy things. If I attempt to, the writing always changes to have an ominous tone. There is no middle ground, or solid ground for that matter.

Meh...

Unknowingly.

The memories we create, and those we erase.
They taint our souls.
Bending and breaking us to their every whim.

How are we supposed to write a piece when we cannot feel anything?
Dear child, reader, man and woman.
Feel the emotions attached to what we choose to remember.

Remember and love,
Forgive and forget,
Hold dear to those who have tainted their lives with the unnecessary crutches.

A broken soul,
A heart without a friend.
Breathe deep, and relish in our minds...

...soon we'll be all right.

Moonlight.

Cascading down through the ever green trees, the moon filters out all the colour. They have begun to see things that were normally invisible to the untrained eye. There is a man walking through the leaves. His silent footsteps make him untrackable. There is a woman sitting at the edge of the forrest, staring across the black ocean. The moon shone upon her face, casting an eerie glow into her eyes.
The man walking, slowly and silently, unknowingly creeping upon this distraught woman. She is unaware that soon she'll be watched, for she completes the man's loneliness without ever meaning to do so.

The hours pass by, and the moon slowly fades from view, causing both man and woman to return to their fruitless lives.

Don't make me choose.

Your smile, your face.
Staring back through the window pane.
I place my hand against the glass, and you reflect it with a single motion.
A barrier between; there's always something there.

The way you laughed with your hair gently swaying.
The way you smiled with your eyes glowing bright.
Speak to me; a voice of velvet.
There is nothing more beautiful then you.

I'm mad.. Really mad..

Skin you alive as we slice apart every orifice on your body.
Gouge out your eyes with a spoon.
This is our will, thy will be done.
Commanded to slice you alive; I shall accomplish this holy deed.

We shall start with your fingers; splinching them one by one.
Continue on your face.
Tongue out; no one will hear you scream.
You will writhe in agony and we will laugh at your dismay.

Next will be your legs.
Start by slicing your Achilles tendon.
Try and run now bitch.
Shall we drill holes into your knee caps? I think so.

Call me pathetic again now you insecure, pathetic, irresponsible, self centered bitch.
Have fun in hell.

Definition of Pathetic.

You.
Nothing more.
Your scent stains this world; polluting everything you touch.
Feel a breeze and wipe you clean from my life.

No one wants you.
No one needs you.
Burn in hell if you feel the need.
No one will miss you as your body rots in the ground.

Go Die.

Slit your throat and cut your wrists.
Fall of the edge of the cliff and splatter into a thousand pieces.
No one will cry at the sight of your mangled body.

Feel the pain, and writhe in your agony.
I will laugh in your face and spit in your open wound.
I hope you burn in hell.

There is no hope for you.
You and all your friends will fall into an empty hole; seriously going no where in life.
Drink yourself to death why don't you.

Find a way to make the pain last.
For it's all you'll ever feel when I'm done with you.
I'll skin you alive; you're a waste of life.

Hide your body; the chunks of your fat flesh will rot.
The stench of a perfect score being officially settled.
The crows are coming for you.

I hope you have fun in hell.

Lies.

You fill the room with your irresistible glare.
Finding a way to captivate everything around us.

I want to tell you no, but I find myself staring too closely into your eyes.

I want someone who would want me for me, not for what I may be able to offer.

Why do you attempt to use me?
What did I do wrong?

La La La

(Different note)

I met you back, a few months ago, but just recently saw you again. Since then, I've been finding that the normal things I do appear repulsive. My friends are annoying. My heart pumps a different beat now.

I don't seem to understand much around me, but all my crutches are feeling too brittle.

You have caused everything around me to feel unimportant and strange; It's as though life could have a different route.

I wish you were closer so you could teach me how to properly live.

Cold-Hearted

Love.
Tainted and full of impurities.

You lie and you fall.
Break and bend the words.
Find me twisted in a knot; screaming my way out.

Hate.
Easy and found anywhere.

You consume our lives.
Breathe deep and claw sharp.
Help me out of the hole you've thrown me into.

Love.
Cold and full of insecurity.

Unknown and unaware.
Fall and find no solid ground.
We cannot seem to find out way out of this maze.

Neither works.
I'm done.

More Of You Please.

Tongue tied and twisted, you leave me breathless.
I feel your heart, I feel your breath.

I'm searching for an answer.
The questions never asked.

I cannot think for my mind is muddled with the thought of you.
Take a chance they say.

A chance; a leap.
Something I no longer know how to do...

Random Thoughts 01.

Loneliness is nothing but a term, used to describe a feeling one may feel depicting a physical status of having no one around.
Just because no one is around doesn't mean we have to be "lonely".
One may be alone, but not lonely.
Yet one may also be surrounded by people, yet still feel alone.

If there are people in the world who care about you in the slightest, or in the greatest amounts, one should never feel alone.

You don't always have to have someone on your arm to make life complete, or someone to spend your time with to not be bored.

Sometimes being "alone", is better, for then you get quiet time to do as you wish, and think without contradictions to your thoughts or beliefs.

La La La.

Life continues on whether we choose to participate with it or not. One may sit in their room for hours on end, weeks upon months, but life will continue on. There is no stopping time.
There are days where it will speed by and we'll open our eyes and wonder what happened to the day. There will also be days where we sit and stare at the clock, contemplating why it wont move faster.

Time is consistent, but it will appear to move faster if one has a positive outlook on things. When we sit around, being all mellow-dramatic, days will take forever to pass by. But by getting out into the world, smiling, and enjoying the simple things, laughing, and having a good time, time will seem unimportant.