Come back.

And so I've been thinking.
That right now, I'm nauseous, paranoid, scared, numb, and delusional.

Before, I was curious. I had started to notice the little things.

Back then, I was fun to be around, I wasn't concerned with other people because I could see in yours eyes that I was the only one you'd ever want.

So I was fun, and still am when I'm not thinking.. But once I'm thinking about something, I shut off, I turn into a robot.. and then when I'm with you, rather than being myself or happy or outgoing, I'm thinking... I'm scared... I'm watching everything you do, rather than simply being WITH YOU.

I don't know how to stop this cycle that's begun. All I know is that if I lose you because of it... There will be no way to come back from such self loathing.. However if it does happen.. then it'll happen... and I'll just have to try and learn from that.

But here I go again, second guessing my capabilities to be worth it in your eyes. You said, "I know you're worth it, I'm just trying to make you see that you are."

You wouldn't lie about that.... right? :/

you're with her right now though and that's where my mind lies.. Wondering whether you're curled up warm and happy on your couch or in your bed.. Whether it's the simple eye glances and smiles from across the room that start an emotional relationship that will cause me to become only a memory.

I just wish I was your first option to hang with..
I know you have other friends.. and I know I do too.. It's just... I never see you in the daylight anymore and I miss it..
I miss you...
And the way you used to look at me...